


If You Were Gay

by Dark_Mystical_Fox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7237387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Mystical_Fox/pseuds/Dark_Mystical_Fox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Sasuke wanted to do was relax and read his book. But of course Naruto just has to ruin that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Were Gay

**Author's Note:**

> You should listen to the song If You Were Gay by Avenue Q

Sasuke lounged on the couch, a book in his hand and a pair of reading glasses perched on his nose. He sighed contently, opening the book to a marked page. "Ah and afternoon alone with my favorite book, Icha Icha Paradise. No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?" He began reading the book. All of a sudden, the door burst open and a loud voice called out, "Oh, hi Sasuke!" Sasuke scowled and, not looking up from his book, replied, "Hi Naruto."

"Hey Sasuke, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me." Naruto rambled on, taking off his jacket and hanging it up. "That's very interesting." Sasuke said, his tone bored and implying he really didn't care. "Yeah, he was being real friendly, and I think he was coming onto me! I think he might've thought that I was gay!" Naruto exclaimed from the doorway. Sasuke looked up, starting to get annoyed. He cleared his throat, replying, "So, uh, why are telling me this, hmm? Why should I care? I don't care. What'd you have for lunch today?" 

Naruto blinked. "Oh, well you don't have to get so defensive about it, Sasuke.." Sasuke cut him off by yelling, "I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read." He emphasized that by pointedly looking back towards the page he was on. 

Naruto held his hands up in defense. "Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Sasuke. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about." 

"I don't want to talk about it Naruto. This conversation is over!"

"Yeah, but…"

"OVER!!" Sasuke stated firmly.

Music started to play in the background, though neither could hear it.

Naruto looked somewhat disheartened. "Well, okay, but just so you know…." Naruto had made his way over to Sasuke and placed his hands on his shoulders. "If you were gay, that'd be okay. I mean cause, hey, I'd like you anyway! Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay!" Naruto burst into song, adding at the end, "But I'm not gay."

Sasuke looked exasperated. "Naruto, please! I'm trying to read….." Naruto sat beside him, staring at him intently. "What!?" Sasuke yelled, looking at Naruto.

"If you were queer!" Naruto beamed, bouncing up off the couch.

"Ah, Naruto!" Sasuke groaned.

"I'd still be here!"

"Naruto, I'm trying to read this book." Sasuke tried to go back to reading.

"Year after year!"

"Naruto!"

"Because you're dear to me!" Naruto sat in Sasuke's lap, smile still plastered to his face.

Sasuke groaned, somewhat giving up on reading.

"And I know that you!" Naruto pointed at Sasuke.

Sasuke looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Would accept me too!"

"I would?"

"If I told you today, 'Hey guess what, I'm gay!'" Naruto jumped up, adding once again, "But I'm not gay."

Naruto began to do a sort of kick line, still singing, "I'm happy just being with you! So what should it matter to me, what you do in bed with guys?!" Naruto did a humping motion in the air, as if to prove his point. 

Sasuke watched the action, disgusted crossing his face. "Naruto, that’s gross!"

"No it's not! If you were gay, I'd shout HOORAY!"

Sasuke plugged his ears, trying to block out the loud blonde. "I'm not listening!"

"And here I'd stay!"

"La la la la la!" 

"But I wouldn't get in your way!"

Sasuke gave up on plugging his ears. "Aaah!"

"You can count on me, to always be beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way! And, as they say, it's in your DNA! You're gay!" Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's shoulders, pulling Sasuke into what was supposed to be a comforting sort of hug.

"But I'm not gay!" Sasuke denied.

"If you were gay." Naruto pointed out, laughing.

Sasuke groaned loudly and flopped back on the couch and in Naruto's arms, his book falling onto the floor.

"By the way Sasuke, real life is way better than a book." Naruto winked and, releasing Sasuke, walked to the bedroom, his hips swaying from side to side seductively.

Sasuke watched, before what Naruto said registered in his mind and he quickly got up and went after him, the bedroom door slamming shut and not opening for the rest of the night.


End file.
